


Obsession

by RannasHeart (LirealClayr)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Death, Obsessive Behavior, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:24:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8687653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LirealClayr/pseuds/RannasHeart
Summary: Sakura decides she will get Kakashi no matter what it takes and what it takes is losing herself. Be wary of Obsession.





	1. Obsession

**Author's Note:**

> The song lyrics used are Goldeneye by Tina Turner and it is from one of the James Bond movies. I would suggest listening to the song while you read this because the music is creepy enough to go with it. I hope you enjoy reading. :)
> 
> Repost of my story from ff.net under the same pen name.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the song. No money will be made off of this fanfiction.

_See reflections on the water_   
_more than darkness in the depths_   
_see him surface in every shadow_ _  
_ _on the wind I feel his breath_

I can't pinpoint the day that it happened. It had just slowly built up over time inside of me until he was the only one I could think about. When would I see him next? What will he think of this outfit? Does he prefer my hair up or down?

Everything became about him. Ino says it's an unhealthy obsession but she just doesn't understand. He was never her teacher.

She never had to worry when he got wounded if he would go to the hospital or not for treatment. She never had to watch his back in the field or known that he would watch hers. He was just another ninja to her but he could never be just another ninja to me.

It had at first been the adoration of a child but changed to so much more.

Yet, it was only one sided. I knew he would never look at me the same way I looked at him so I tried to keep my feelings hidden but that is something I have never been good at.

He started to avoid me and it hurt. Only coming to me to be healed because even if he didn't love me, he did trust me. Being useful to him was the only reason he kept me around and everyone knew it.

What about me was so repulsive to him? Was it my age? My personality? My hair? I would change anything for him in a heartbeat.

So that I could lay by him and hear his heartbeat.

How do you go on when the love of your life doesn't feel the same? When you go to bed and dream of his touch knowing that it would never be yours? When you can't go to anyone for advice because they will judge you?

All you can do is figure out the solution by yourself, and in this case it was a simple but dangerous one.

 _Goldeneye I found his weakness_   
_Goldeneye he'll do what I please_   
_Goldeneye no time for sweetness_ _  
_ _but a bitter kiss will bring him to his knees_

I had been watching him from the sidelines for years. Learned all of his habits, his quirks, his likes and dislikes.

I knew the one thing he wanted to keep secret. Everyone knew his obsession with his dirty books, but to most he was a harmless pervert. A gentleman if you could believe it.

But I knew better.

The solution to getting him to touch me was simple. A henge would suffice although it would have to be good enough to fool even such a great shinobi.

The research was already complete. Which bar did he go to the most? What was the type of woman he flirted with? When did he make his move? What were the signs?

He seemed to prefer civilians although if it was because he felt superior to them or because he could threaten them to keep quiet I didn't know.

He also preferred his woman plain, dark hair, dark eyes. Nothing that called a lot of attention. Not too tall, no too short. Curvy in the right places but not overweight.

Practice makes perfect and all my time outside of the hospital was spent on that one jutsu. To create the perfect woman for him. My gift for him.

He continues to go on missions that take him far away from home. Far away from me. But I am patient. I can stay and wait although I will not stay still.

 _You'll never know how I watched you_   
_from the shadows as a child_   
_you'll never know how it feels to be the one_   
_who's left behind_   
_You'll never know the days, the nights,_   
_the tears, the tears I've cried_   
_but now my time has come_ _  
_ _and time, time is not on your side_

It was time to see if all of the practice had paid off. The henge I would use was complete and it had already been tested on Genma. Medium length dark brown hair and brown eyes, just a few inches taller than my usual height. Wider hips and fuller breasts. Just the sort of woman I thought would match him well although never as well as myself.

No one knew about my plan and it would stay that way.

I had the night already chosen. The same evening he arrives back from his most recent mission. My placement in the small bar already picked out. New clothes that couldn't be traced back to me purchased with cash to fit this new form.

He wouldn't stand a chance. All I had to do now was wait and I am a patient woman when I have a reason to be.

 _See him move through smoke and mirrors_   
_feel his presence in the crowd_   
_other girls they gather around him_ _  
_ _if I had him I wouldn't let him out_

When the night finally arrived I fought all day to keep my excitement down. I let the everyday routine of the hospital continue on and counted the seconds to when I could finally get ready for what would be one of the most important nights of my life.

When the nurse who was taking over my shift arrived I didn't even bother to run to the door. The nearest window would suffice.

I felt my body quivering with excitement when I finally made it home and was able to put on my jutsu in front of my mirror. Marveling at my new shape I pick the bag of clothes up that I had purchased for this night.

Nothing to flashy for him. Simple long dark jeans, a grey V-neck t-shirt and dark blue sweater finished off with white sandals. All colors he liked and just enough to catch his attention without looking like I was trying to.

I snuck out of my apartment and made my way down to the bar. The second seat from corner of the bar was the perfect spot. I put me in almost direct eye line of the side of the table where he usually sat.

As I made my way over to the bar stool I looked around and noticed he wasn't here yet. When the bartender came over to ask what I wanted I ordered a bottle of sake. His favorite drink.

There was plenty to share when he would finally come over.

I hear the door open and look over to find him standing there in jeans, a button down shirt with his trademark slouch, and a crowd of people forming around him.

I am patient, I can wait.

 _Goldeneye not lace or leather_   
_Golden chains take him to the spot_   
_goldeneye I'll show him forever_   
_it'll take forever to see_ _  
_ _what I've got_

I could tell when my time had finally come. He was getting up from his table and leaving his friends but instead of making his way over to the door he was going instead over to the bar… and right over to the blonde four stools over.

That wouldn't do.

The good news was that all of my medical training wasn't for nothing and the moment he turned around to look to see which of his friends still remained, I was able to reach over and use some of my chakra to make her stomach return what she had had for dinner back up to the surface. There was no way he'd want to go home with that.

Just as I had thought, he finally spotted me over in the corner and started to stroll over. An appreciative look in his lone eye.

Not many words had to be spoken. We both knew why were alone at a bar. There were no cheesy pick-up lines or awkward attempts at small talk. A simple hello from him and a nod from me sufficed. It took only one quirked eyebrow and a beckoning finger to ask the question on his mind.

He turned around and I followed, as was natural. I don't mind following behind him as long as he's letting me near him.

When we arrived back at his apartment once again nothing was said. Just a moment after we had stepped inside I felt myself pressed up against the door. His lips moving urgently against mine as his fingers began to gently slide my jacket off.

There were no lights on inside and he had removed his mask. I didn't mind if I couldn't see his face. I was finally getting his touch.

My smaller fingers began undoing the buttons on his shirt, my lips leaving kisses on each little bit of skin that was exposed. His strong hands wove into my hair as I made my way further south.

A groan was heard but I'm sure if it was him or me as his pants were finally removed. It was at this point he decided I still had to many clothes on and quickly began to remove my pants and under things as I pulled my shirt over my head and released the latch on my bra.

He soon moved the two of us over to the bed and showed me why I had waited this long as he brought me to my peak time after time until I was finally spent. Right after the last time he whispered in my ear, "this is over after tonight."

Yet I found it didn't matter. I was finally able to fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

 _You'll never know how I watched you_   
_from the shadows as a child_   
_you'll never know how it feels to be so close_   
_and be denied_   
_It's a gold and honey trap_   
_I've got for you tonight_   
_Revenge it's a kiss, this time I won't miss_   
_now I've got you in my sight_   
_With a Goldeneye, golden, goldeneye_ _  
_ _with a goldeneye, goldeneye._

When I awoke in the morning he was already gone and all traces of our wild night was cleaned up.

There had been no names. There had been no commitments made but it didn't matter. I had finally realized that one night would never be enough but my research told me he was never with the same woman twice.

Once again the solution was simple. Design a new henge, a new woman for him. Different shape, different height, different clothes but still a perfect match for him. Perhaps a different bar and a different stool but the outcome would be the same.

He wouldn't be able to resist and he would continue to take me home again and again. Perhaps, if I finally hit upon the perfect design, the one woman he would want to spend the rest of his life with then I would keep on the henge.

What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. I was more than willing to give up everything for him. Change anything for him.

Perhaps no one would notice when Sakura disappeared and this new woman emerged. Kakashi wouldn't and I might not either.

Or perhaps he would finally realize the woman for him had pink hair and had been in love with him since she was a child. That there was one person in the world who knew him better than he knew himself. However I had more hope that the first option would come about.


	2. Selection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuing on with the Bond theme of the previous chapter, the lyrics are You Only Live Twice by Nancy Sinatra.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the song. No money will be made off of this fanfiction.

_You Only Live Twice_   
_or so it seems,_   
_One life for yourself_   
_and one for your dreams._

It all began with that one henge: medium length dark brown hair, brown eyes.

It all ended with long light red hair and clear green eyes.  
  
_You drift through the years_  
 _and life seems tame,_  
 _Till one dream appears_  
 _and love is its name._

Of course, there had been others in between that he hadn't minded having in his bed for one night. Or in the case of the pixie cut blond hair with blue eyes, up against the brick wall just outside of a civilian bar in an almost dark corner.

Don't judge me too harshly; it's not as if these all happened every night and that all the nights were the same as the first. I wasn't doing this for me, it was all for him.

I wasn't addicted to him; I was trying to help him. I was a strong believer in the fact that no one should go through life without some sort of companion to take care of them.

I was just trying to help him realize that person was me.

My purpose in life had over the years evolved to be whatever he needed. Love what he loved. It didn't matter if I was seldom treated as gentle as that first night. I wouldn't shy away from the ropes or gags.

At times that was what he needed. To prove to some unknown female that he was dominant. It was a fact that I never had and never would question.

Whatever he wanted I was more than happy to do. I was never ashamed as long as it was all for him.

In the beginning it was difficult to find the balance between Sakura and Sakura Prime. There was even a brief period of time when helping him had to cease.

Ino had begun to keep a close eye on me for some reason. I had told her over and over that what she called my obsession was ancient history but it seemed that I was no longer to be trusted.

She claimed I was keeping some sort of secret from her.

As if we had never kept secrets from each other before.

So, I did what any good medic would do. I analyzed the problem and then took the appropriate action.

Like a deadly tumor she was completely cut out of my life in order to ensure my survival and future success.

If anyone else had any questions concerning me they learned to keep their distance and I began keep myself away from almost everything that wasn't work or him.

The scientific side of my brain was amazed by what a person could get used to. If I wasn't so worried about being discovered I would have been more than happy to keep a journal to analyze the process of becoming another person.

It was almost evolving into an experiment and the long term effects on the user were unknown even if the short term were more than pleasurable.

In the end it would not matter, because long term effects on him were well known to be perfectly safe and that was all that truly mattered.

However, all experiments have to come to an end, and this one ended with long light red hair and clear green eyes.

_And love is a stranger_   
_who'll beckon you on,_   
_Don't think of the danger_   
_or the stranger is gone._

It was spring in Konoha and he was about to be sent out of the village on a mission that was supposed to take almost an entire year to complete.

At this point the original henge I had used had become second nature for me to put on and take off but only because there were few aspects that I ever changed. Mostly hair and skin color as well and slight height variations. But that was what made it so dangerous for me.

During his last mission I had worked on creating a brand new henge to use. One that would make me a whole foot taller so I would stand just under his nose.

All the better to gaze into his eye.

However this meant that all my other measurements would also have to be altered to be proportional to this new height.

After grueling days of practice I felt that the form was finally complete and I had just a couple of hours to get used to using this taller form before I had to make it down to the bar. From my research I knew that he dedicated the last five days before he left for a long mission preparing to leave.

There would be no more late night trips to a bar for him after tonight until he finally returned from his mission.

Since I was just going for a walk to practice my new long legs, I changed very few aspects of myself. Instead of long pink hair I had long light red hair, instead of green eyes with flecks of brown and gold in them I just had clear emerald eyes.

Of course a smaller forehead and slightly different shaped face completed my newest look.

A newly purchased floral print dress and ballerina flats for my now larger feet were the finishing touches.

Luckily it was not as difficult as I had anticipated to become used to this form and I was able to enjoy the remainder of my walk in the fresh spring air.

As a private joke I had chosen one lined with blooming Sakura trees, their petals being scattered by the same, constant breeze that blew my skirts around my legs.

However the calm that had come over me during my walk was immediately shattered by the arrival of him, dressed in his uniform and carrying that pack I had followed behind so many times as a child.

All I could do was freeze. All my confidence came from the fact that every moment of every encounter was planned by me down to the smallest details.

There was never a backup plan for a chance encounter. An oversight that wouldn't happen again.

Once my mind had finally begun to process the new data I realized that I was not the only one who had frozen in place. He also stood still in the center of the sidewalk staring at me with his lone eye.

There was a look on his face that I had never seen before, a mix of surprise, adoration and just a tiny hint of something else.

Fear made me chatter at him a bit and we exchanged formal pleasantries as if we were strangers.

Unfortunately to him I was always a stranger.

The truly shocking part however was him actually talking back to me and it wasn't just an endless flow of pickup lines as were all of our brief conversations in the past. I felt as if I was seeing a part of him that no one had ever seen before.

Not even I who had so very closely observed him.

I was so stunned by this revelation that when he finally asked me my name all I could reply was "Sakura." Fortunately he never pressed for my family name.

It was a beautiful, fitting name he said.

All the while that look never left his face.

He informed me that he had been called away early for a long mission but then hesitantly inquired if he would be able to see me when he came back.

Once again speechless all I could do was nod.

He understood I would wait. Who wouldn't wait for him?

_This dream is for you,_   
_so pay the price._   
_Make one dream come true,_   
_you only live twice._

The yearlong mission that had I had originally considered to be too long soon wasn't long enough for what I needed to do.

A year for one person to disappear for good and another to permanently appear was much too short.

But because it was all for him it was worth it. He had finally found the one and I wouldn't keep them apart.

The old Sakura would silently disappear for good.

Faking my own death would be simple after all of the other missions I had had to complete over the years. Obtaining a body to represent my own scarily simple and a large fire would destroy any other information about the victim.

But I would make sure they know it was me.

Then Sakura would be born.

_And love is a stranger_   
_who'll beckon you on,_   
_Don't think of the danger_   
_or the stranger is gone._

_This dream is for you,_   
_so pay the price._   
_Make one dream come true,_   
_you only live twice._


	3. Terminus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used is For Your Eyes Only by Sheena Easton. Once again the song was used in a James Bond film.
> 
> Enjoy the grand finale!

It didn't matter if Haruno Sakura was planning on what to have for lunch or planning how she was going to die.

She was always thorough.

And that was why as Nara Shikamaru was examining the remains of the burnt medical research lab and watching the somber faced medics remove the equally burnt remains of the only body recovered from among the newly formed ashes, he had no doubt in his mind that the body belonged to Haruno Sakura and that is was not an accident.

It was a suicide.

After all, everyone knew that she'd been very unhappy for the last couple of years and every single time that someone had tried to reach out to help her she had simply withdrawn away more which would explain the lack of any sort of note left behind.

Who would care enough to read it? Even Naruto had long since given up on bringing Sakura back herself and had instead began to focus more on his missions and courting Hinata.

All of the pieces of the puzzle fit into place just how he liked it.

At least all of the puzzle pieces fit into place until he saw an unknown red head walking away with a twisted look of pride on her face as she disappeared into the rapidly growing crowd that was gathering on the other side of the bright yellow tape.

For a split second he wondered if he could actually be wrong but then he was called over by another member of his team to sign the final report that would be delivered to the Hokage and all such thoughts were lost.

The Hokage needed to be informed that Haruno Sakura was dead and then he needed to go meet Ino for lunch.

How troublesome.

_For your eyes only, can see me through the night_   
_For your eyes only, I never need to hide_   
_You can see so much in me_   
_So much in me that's new_ _  
_ _I never felt, until I looked at you_

The first four parts of her plan had finally been completed. First was finding a new job,

Second, a new apartment.

Third, obtaining a birth certificate and photo identification for the newly created Katsu Sakura

Fourth, finally killing Haruno Sakura off for good.

It was the fifth and final part of the plan that was going to be the hardest: waiting for him to return.

Fortunately there were other things to keep her occupied while he was away. The new job was going to be a breeze and ensure that she never ran into another ninja while at work. After all, the only florist that ninjas went to was the one owned by the Yamanaka's in which she'd had plenty of training regarding the trade.

The new apartment on the fourth floor was also going to take a while to get into shape. After all, the furniture, linens, dishes, photographs and other assorted nick-knacks from Haruno Sakura's world had no place in hers.

Gone was the favorite yellow chipped mug that always held the morning tea, the comforting green fleece blanket that had spent half of its life on packed dirt and dead foliage, the picture of the young Team 7 thinking the future would be simple, and of course every weapon she had ever owned except for mundane plastic box cutter that would most likely lose a fight to a box, let alone a ninja.

There would be no mistakes for him to pick up on, no locked boxes just inviting a peek that would give her past identity away to him. No small inconsistencies to be connected.

That would end her life more permanently than the fire had.

That would make it impossible for her to help him in every way possible.

And so the days passed by and the civilians with which Katsu now lived found her to be one of the most charming girls they had ever met.

Interacting with customers gained her invitations to parties, lunches and afternoon teas. More than one person had even politely asked her out on a date which she had of course promptly declined with a practiced blush.

In just three short months she had built the life for herself that she would have had owned if she had never become a ninja. Instead of being isolated from the rest of the village and taught how to survive and fight, she saw a life filled with colors other than red and metallic shine of newly sharpened steel blades.

A life where you could love and be loved without fearing for your life, even though it meant giving up using her chakra.

Of course, every person emitted some chakra. It was one of the first things they had learned at the academy. The difference between the civilian and the ninja was that that civilian did not store or control their chakra. They just let nature take care of it in its endless cycle.

All she had to do was learn to continuously release her chakra which wasn't hard.

After all, Haruno Sakura was dead and Katsu didn't know how to control hers.

Katsu was lucky if she didn't cut herself slicing up an onion.

Sakura had also begun to learn all of Katsu's little quirks. She always lightly jumped down from the last step leading up to the apartment and smiled up at the sky when she closed the door behind her.

She preferred summery blues and greens to the springs pinks and yellows.

She also enjoyed walking down one particular cherry blossom covered path every day even if the flowers were not in bloom.

Most importantly she always jumped up to answer a knock on the door hoping that the day had arrived where it would finally be him.

But the months continued to fly by and she knew for a fact that he was back, his mission a success. New honors bestowed on him from some distant village she would never see. Yet still there was no knock on the door, no ringing of the phone or shouts down the sidewalk.

Why not? This was all for him and she had said she would wait.

Month after month passed before she finally gave into the temptation to plan a spontaneous run in with him. Preferably on that same sidewalk, both walking in the same direction this time.

That was why Katsu found herself sitting on a cold wooden bench just after the first snow trying to warm her hands with her quickly cooling paper cup of tea. The little warmth it had offered, transferred into her knitted mittens and lost in a matter of minutes.

It was when Katsu finally decided that it was necessary to hide her nose in the elegant folds of her freshly pressed white scarf that his slouched form could be seen walking down their sidewalk. Once again in his uniform and with a pack strapped to his strong back.

She held her breathe as he slowly passed, his gaze not once meeting her unblinking eyes and never giving any sign that she was noticed until he suddenly plopped down on her left with a sigh.

Excitement began to build in her chest as her moment to join his life finally approached. The feeling swelled inside her until it finally reached its breaking point-

And then it burst as he suddenly stood to embrace a girl who appeared to literally fly into his arms out of nowhere to pepper his mask covered face with kisses.

Medium length, dark brown hair, big brown eyes, and just a few inches shorter than Katsu. Wider hips and fuller breasts clearly visible in her tight jeans and V-necked sweater.

Clearly a civilian just as he preferred.

It was at the precise moment between kiss seven and kiss eight that Sakura discovered another one of Katsu's tiny quirks from some place in the back of what was once her own mind.

Anyone who decided to interfere with her carefully laid plans wouldn't be around for very long.

_For your eyes only, only for you_   
_You'll see what no one else can see, and now I'm breaking free_   
_For your eyes only, only for you_   
_The love I know you need in me, the fantasy you've freed in me_   
_Only for you, only for you_

The newspaper that was delivered to the front door of every home in Konoha the next day had an extremely sad, tear jerking story on the front page.

The beloved brown haired girl who served tea in one of the larger houses had been discovered dead in her tub shortly after wishing her fiancé good luck on his mission. The story was everywhere as a warning to girls- never try to curl your hair while you're relaxing in the tub.

One Nara Shikamaru gave an official press release announcing that the investigation was complete and it had been determined an accident. But as he left the front door, bright red hair was reflected in the glass bringing forward a long forgotten memory of another crime scene and case.

_For your eyes only, only for you_   
_You see what no one else can see, and now I'm breaking free_   
_For your eyes only, only for you_   
_The passions that collide in me, the wild abandoned side of me_   
_Only for you, for your eyes only_

He was understandably upset when he returned much to Katsu's excitement.

He also understandably wanted to be alone, much to Katsu's disappointment.

After what she felt the proper amount of time for mourning had passed, Katsu once again began to plan, knowing in the back of her mind that even as she planned, he was already lost.

He had no interest in anyone or anything. Especially not in a charming red head. And as the thought became fully realized in her mind that Katsu came to a bone chilling decision, if she couldn't have him then no one would ever be able to.

_For your eyes only, only for you_   
_The love I know you need in me, the fantasy you've freed in me_   
_Only for you, only for you_

Nara Shikamaru and his complicated mind had reached the conclusion that for some reason he needed to find that red head with the twisted look of pride. She was the missing link to some unknown puzzle.

It was frighteningly easy to locate her. Her name was Katsu Sakura according to the tag neatly tied with a bow to her toe.

She was his next case, murdered in cold blood by one of the most legendary ninja in Konoha who was at this moment being sedated in a well-padded room. She didn't stand a chance against him; she wasn't even at the level of a genin.

The neighbors had called the authorities when the yelling first started. According to witnesses the man had begun pounding on her door around six p.m. shouting about the young woman stalking him.

The neighbors couldn't believe such a thing. She was the most charming girl they had ever meet, so full of life.

It was around six-fifteen p.m. that Katsu Sakura entered her hallway to find him still shouting.

It was at six-twenty p.m., after a long moment of silence that the authorities finally arrived at the building to find the crumpled body at the bottom of the stairs.

With a sigh Nara Shikamaru left the morgue to go home. This case could wait for anther day.

 


End file.
